Love Is a Two-Way Street

Why do you love someone? Not the specific aspects of a specific person, but the broader reasons underlying love. We’d venture that it’s because of things like respect, trust, and reciprocity. Love is a two-way street, built on shared values, mutual admiration and devotion. Love is never about manipulation, deception and control. We most often associate love with personal relationships but these days businesses are warming up to the idea of loving their customers.

So, if that’s the case why do so many businesses rely on trickery, annoyance, and contracts to win your love? We’d guess it’s because old habits are hard to shake, and learning to love is a tall order for companies used to a more transactional relationship. But there are a substantial number of companies who truly love their customers and provide genuine reciprocal devotion. Check out Earthbound Farms or Pixar or Zappos. The recent Christmas Miracle by WestJet is a great example as well. Based on the great success of these companies, we think there is much about love that works well in business.

In a loving human relationship, there are many things that partners do for each other that have practical value. Like taking out the trash (without complaining) or picking someone up at the airport (a binding social contract according to Seinfeld). Surely, products have practical value in your life. Isn’t that the whole point of offering a product or service? Tide helps you clean your clothes and Toyota helps you get to work.

A practical exchange of value is on the level of paying an employee to do a job. It gets the job done, but it’s “strictly business.” You pay for the detergent or car, and the company delivers a product that meets your specific needs. But love operates on a whole different level. You might “love” the way your car runs, or the way your detergent smells, but that’s not being in love with the brand. Being in love with a brand requires a deeper, more meaningful relationship… one that goes beyond exchanging money for a product. Similarly, being fully engaged in your work requires more than fair pay for the effort you invest.

Any business that wants to move past a business transaction and into a loving relationship has to start giving more than simply a product or service. You can’t have it both ways (for long). Of course, there’s nothing wrong with a transactional business relationship. This only applies when a business has decided that love is a better strategy to run their business than a series of practical transactions. But there’s a pile of evidence that love leads to exceptional business results, so it’s worth considering fully.

Loyalty is not enough

In most businesses, a series of repeated purchases are far more profitable than a revolving door of new customers coming and going after only one try. The Loyalty Effect and Customer Lifetime Value are smart ways to think about evaluating customers over the long term. And Saatchi and Saatchi established the ideal of love marks as the “future beyond brands.” According to them, a love mark “delivers beyond your expectations of great performance and reaches your heart as well as your mind, creating an intimate, emotional connection that you just can’t live without.” So in order to win customers for life, it makes sense to aim for love.

Love is a many splendored thing, but the stakes are high. You can’t just offer points for repeated purchasing as most loyalty programs require. That’s controlling and transactional. Imagine if you only gave your partner a back massage after they take out the trash 20 times. That would be a red flag on the health of your relationship, making it feel like quid pro quo instead of genuine giving or support.

Love is a rocky road

Both partners have to give fully “above and beyond” the practical value of their existence together to make a loving relationship work. Loving a brand is not all about devoted customers. It’s also about a devoted company. Brand consultants Wolff Olins recommend "thinking less about selling people, and more about enlisting them.” In a Wired interview, Wolff Olins CEO Karl Heiselman suggests “Unlike the parent-child or the top-down relationship of the past, companies and people are meeting as equals. It’s much more like a one-on-one relationship you would have with another person. It’s based on reciprocity and honesty and trust” (Check out the full report from Wolff Olins).

So what does devotion look like for a brand? It starts with a clear set of values and a strong sense of purpose. Patagonia has stated that they want to save the planet from consumerism. This could be seen as a contradiction for a company that makes clothes and puts out seasonal catalogs. But they recognize this and engage with customers in an open dialog about their concerns and interests. Clearly Patagonia is doing a lot to improve their impact on the planet, and being transparent about their intentions and open about their deficiencies builds trust with customers. In a loving relationship, there is no behind the scenes dark side or eventual “gotcha” moment where the truth comes out after being hidden.

Being honest and transparent is a great way for brands to demonstrate love for their customers, and there are other great ways. Instead of making every interaction a product push, brands can offer inspiration, insight, or support to their customers between and around purchases. Giving customers something they value beyond the specific product doesn’t have to cost a lot, it just has to feel right to the customer. Sometimes you can just make it easy for a customer by sharing good information or good advice instead presenting a special offer or feature highlight. Check out the Whole Foods recipes page or The Four Season’s use of Pinterest. These examples are nothing less than a complete re-engineering of advertising from a constant sales pitch to grab your attention, to helpful advice and education and other types of supportive content.

Brands can be more lovable by setting their customers free to “live their brand” in ways that align with the brand’s values. That’s more than getting people to drink a soda like Mountain Dew or wear a Van’s shoe. Mountain Dew and Vans both show that having a real personality attracts a special type of customer who defines a particular lifestyle. Over time, the companies observe what their customers are doing and celebrate it, thus building the brand together.

The Power of Love

It’s up to each business to decide if they want to pursue a loving relationship with their customers, or stick to a more business-like transactional approach. For some it may be too expensive (or maybe they’re just not ready yet). But there is plenty of research to show that customers actually want to love brands.

A long-term study by The Spending Group found that 48% of American consumers fall into a group they call the New Economic Order. The research shows that these “NEOs” value factors like design, authenticity, and experience higher than cost. The other 52% fit into a group they call Traditionals, who make buying decisions based on a deal or short-term value of a transaction. So both groups are substantial and should be met in an appropriate manner. But the kicker is that NEO’s account for 77% of consumer spending, which is especially important during difficult economic conditions.

NEOs see products and services as an extension of themselves and seek authentic relationships. To win their affections, brands must work hard and offer more than a simple transaction. In the service industry, this is talked about as “surprising and delighting” customers at every turn. Just as you would bring flowers to a friend for no reason at all, brands must do meaningful, unexpected, and authentic things for their customers if they want to earn loving status. There’s no way this can be mechanical or programmatic. It can’t be a disguised product push or discount, or the gesture will feel fake and fall flat.

It’s not easy, but it is possible to establish long-term, committed relationships between companies and customers. And these types of relationships are great for the business and great for the customer.

All you need is love.